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sa nu uitam sa radem...
Sambata, 28 Ianuarie 2006 | Sisanu PHP Sisanu PHP
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Offline Mikaia MikaiaSambata, 22 Septembrie 2007
ardeleni 2

De ce nu e bine sa le spui la ardeleni bancuri vinerea?!..
Sa nu rada duminica in biserica!
There are three kinds of people in this world - those who can count and those who can't.
Offline Mikaia MikaiaMiercuri, 26 Septembrie 2007
13

Software Development Cycle

1. Programmer produces code he believes is bug-free.
2. Product is tested. 20 bugs are found.
3. Programmer fixes 10 of the bugs and explains to the testing department that the other 10 aren't really bugs.
4. Testing department finds that five of the fixes didn't work and discovers 15 new bugs.
5. Repeat three times steps 3 and 4.
6. Due to marketing pressure and an extremely premature product announcement based on overly-optimistic programming schedule, the product is released.
7. Users find 137 new bugs.
8. Original programmer, having cashed his royalty check, is nowhere to be found.
9. Newly-assembled programming team fixes almost all of the 137 bugs, but introduce 456 new ones.
10. Original programmer sends underpaid testing department a postcard from Fiji. Entire testing department quits.
11. Company is bought in a hostile takeover by competitor using profits from their latest release, which had 783 bugs.
12. New CEO is brought in by board of directors. He hires a programmer to redo program from scratch.
13. Programmer produces code he believes is bug-free...

There are three kinds of people in this world - those who can count and those who can't.
Offline Mikaia MikaiaJoi, 27 Septembrie 2007
Murphy's Laws of Computing

1. When computing, whatever happens, behave as though you meant it to happen.
2. When you get to the point where you really understand your computer, it's probably obsolete.
3. The first place to look for information is in the section of the manual where you least expect to find it.
4. When the going gets tough, upgrade.
5. For every action, there is an equal and opposite malfunction.
6. He who laughs last probably made a back-up.
7. A complex system that does not work is invariably found to have evolved from a simpler system that worked just fine.
8. The number one cause of computer problems is computer solutions.
9. A computer program will always do what you tell it to do, but rarely what you want to do.
There are three kinds of people in this world - those who can count and those who can't.
Offline Mikaia MikaiaVineri, 28 Septembrie 2007
How To Get A Life

It's never easy to overcome innate nerdity, a serious Internet addiction, or a hard-core computer gaming habit, but trying usually isn't as painful as kidney stones. Here's how:

1. Let go of the mouse.
2. Turn off the computer.
3. Play a game of solitaire with a real deck of cards.
4. Eat something other than taco chips.
5. Fart without recording it and putting it up your Web page.
6. Get some sleep in bed rather than on your keyboard.
7. Next time you wake up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom, don't tell everyone on your ICQ list about it.
8. Open a window without turning your computer back on (yes, it is possible). Very gradually expose your eyes to increasingly bright light so as to avoid damage or permanent sun blindness.
9. When you feel prepared for a massive dose of non-CRT radiation, put on welding goggles and go outside.
10. If you see someone, say "Hi" to them instead of trying to make the modem connect sound.
11. Visit a friend that you haven't spoken to in years because they don't have an email address.
12. Have ".com" officially removed from behind your name. Go on a date with someone you didn't meet in a chat room.

There are three kinds of people in this world - those who can count and those who can't.
Offline Mikaia MikaiaVineri, 28 Septembrie 2007
Things to do when your ISP is down

1. Dial 911 immediately.
2. Open the curtains to see if anything has changed over the past 2 years.
3. You mean there's something else to do?
4. Threaten your ISP with an impeachment vote.
5. Work.
6. Re-introduce yourself to your immediate family.
7. Get that kidney transplant you've been putting off.
There are three kinds of people in this world - those who can count and those who can't.
Offline Sisanu PHP Sisanu PHPDuminică, 30 Septembrie 2007
Conferinta internationala pe tema comunicatilor

La o conferinta internationala pe tema comunicatilor si a telecomunicatiilor sunt prezente toate statele lumii cu diverse cercetari in domeniu.
Iau cuvantul americanii si spun: "Am efectuat cercetari si am gasit sarma de cupru veche de apoximativ 1000 de ani. Deci am ajuns la concluzia ca stramosii nostri cunosteau pe atunci telegraful".
Iau cuvantul si germanii care spun "Am efectuat cercetari si am gasit sarma de aluminiu veche de apoximativ 1500 de ani. Deci am ajuns la concluzia ca stramosii nostri cunosteau pe atunci telefonia".
Intr-un final, iau cuvantul si romanii care au spus: "Am efectuat cercetari asupra vremurilor de acum 2000 de ani si nu am gasit nimic. Deci am ajuns la concluzia ca stramosii nostri foloseau?pe atunci tehnologia wireless".
Give me tools...
Offline Mikaia MikaiaVineri, 5 Octombrie 2007
Dreams

Vine calculatorul dimineata la stapan:
- Stapane am visat urat.
- Cum ma idiotule, calculatoarele nu viseaza!
- Ba da...
- Nu se poate ma!
- Ba da...
- Pai ce ai visat?
- Visam eu linistit acolo 1001010101011010 si dintr-o data.. 101010100001112
There are three kinds of people in this world - those who can count and those who can't.
Offline Sisanu SisanuSambata, 13 Octombrie 2007
THINGS THAT ARE DOWNRIGHT IMPOSSIBLE TO SAY WHEN DRUNK

1. Thanks, but I don't want to have sex.
2. Nope, no more booze for me.
3. Sorry, but you're not really my type.
4. Taco Bell? No thanks, I'm not hungry.
5. Good evening, officer. Isn't it lovely out tonight?
6. Oh, I couldn't. No one wants to hear me sing karaoke.
7. I'm not interested in fighting you.
8. Thank you, but I won't make any attempt to dance. I have no coordination. I'd hate to look like a fool!
9. Where is the nearest bathroom? I refuse to pee in this parking lot or on the side of the road.
10. I must be going home now, I have to work in the morning.
You don't know when the end is but its coming fast...
Offline speedy200man speedy200manMarţi, 6 Noiembrie 2007
Salariile din Romania

Tipurile de salarii din Romania:
Salariul Ceapa: il vezi, il iei in mana si iti dau lacrimile.
Salariul Nenorocit: nu te ajuta la nimic, doar te face sa suferi, insa nu poti trai fara el
Salariul Dietetic: te face sa mananci din ce in ce mai putin
Salariul Ateu: te indoiesti de existenta lui
Salariul Magic: face cateva miscari si dispare
Salariul Furtuna: nu stii cand o sa apara si nici cat o sa tina
Salariul Umor Negru: razi ca sa nu plangi
Si daca ramuri bat in geam... De ce nu tai copacul ?
Offline Mikaia MikaiaJoi, 31 Ianuarie 2008
Two atoms ...

Two atoms were talking to each other, one of them said: "Dude, I think I lost an electron". The other: "Really? Are you sure?" And the first replied "Yes, I'm positive!"
There are three kinds of people in this world - those who can count and those who can't.
Offline Sisanu PHP Sisanu PHPMarţi, 12 Februarie 2008
Un grup de cercetatori americani a facut un experiment stiintific

Un grup de cercetatori americani a facut un experiment stiintific: patru limbrici au fost pusi in patru borcane separate. Primul limbric intr-un borcan cu alcool, al doilea limbric intr-un borcan cu fum de tigara, al treilea limbric intr-un borcan cu sperma, iar al patrulea limbric intr-un borcan cu pamint. Dupa ce limbricii au petrecut o zi in borcane, s-au deschis borcanele si s-a constatat ca: primul limbric, cel aflat in alcool , era MORT; al doilea limbric , cel din fumul de tigara era MORT; al treilea limbric aflat in borcanul cu sperma era si el MORT. In schimb, al patrulea limbric, care statuse in pamant, era VIU. Lectia invatata din acest experiment: atita timp cat bei, fumezi si faci sex... nu ai limbrici.
Give me tools...
Offline Sisanu PHP Sisanu PHPMarţi, 12 Februarie 2008
O femeie facea cumparaturi la un supermarket

O femeie facea cumparaturi la un supermarket. Cumpara o cutie de lapte 2%, un carton de oua, o cutie de suc de portocale, o cutie de cafea, o salata si niste costita afumata. In timp ce le descarca la casa, vine un tip beat in spatele ei si se uita indelung la produse. Apoi spune:
- Tu traiesti, mai mult ca sigur, singura!
Femeia se uita contrariata la produsele pe care le cumparase si nu intelege de unde a tras betivul concluzia.
- Ai perfecta dreptate, sunt singura, dar de unde ti-ai dat sema?
- Pentru ca esti urta.
Give me tools...
Offline Mikaia MikaiaJoi, 14 Octombrie 2010
Raspuns evaziv

"Apai, mai Ioane, io am fo' la camp si mi s-o rupt coasa. Nu mi-o dai tu pe-a ta?" Sta Ion si se gandeste: "Daca i-o dau, mi-o rupe si pe-a mea. Daca nu i-o dau, se supara. Hai mai bine sa-i dau un raspuns evaziv." "Apai no, ma Gheorghe, ia mai du-te tu in p…izda ma-tii."
There are three kinds of people in this world - those who can count and those who can't.
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